Smoking....Looking for the next ten pounds

OK...Today is my second day of my campaign to quit smoking...the surgeon said there would be no surgery if I was smoking ...evidently smoking prevents healing by constricting oxygen to your blood...(I never knew that, never really considered it but it makes sense.) So I really have to be serious about it. I smoked in High School as a rebellious teen (I know you are having trouble imaging me as rebellious, but use your imagination) I quit without any problems upon "falling in love" with a unnamed very tall Mormon boy. We went on to be a very active "Mormon couple" and had three beautiful children so I did not have to do the start and stop while being pregnant....Actually I really did not begin smoking openly ( in front of my children and family)until I was about 35 years old...I know what you are thinking...but whatever....I was going through another rebellious period. (keep using your imagination). So now I am a full fledged pack a day smoker....I am ashamed of that because I know I am shortening my life I will have with my children and grandchildren. But as a side note, none of my children smoke...so maybe that was one of my bad habits they did not pick up...Thank God they didn't because that would be just one more feeling of parental guilt to stack on the pile of parental guilt I am currently balancing. Anyway, I am beginning to realize that this is one of the hardest task I have faced in a while....I am working on identifying my "triggers". so far...It is waking up in the middle of the night, coffee, food, boredom, the act of getting in the car and the weirdest of all, the second I get in the house from going out with my Mom....I don't smoke in front of her and sometimes I will go hours (4 - 6) without having a cigarette, as soon as I get in the house I am running for the cigarettes with the feeling that I have to smoke at least 6 to "make up" for the missing nicotine.
I hesitate to mention this attempt in my blog because of the failure rate but I think this some how makes me accountable for my actions. I realize that two days is a drop in the bucket and I am sorta cheating with the patch I now wear proudly on my butt cheek (don't use your imagination here) but the patches are MORE expensive than the cigarettes so I am only giving myself one week of the patches. My theory is that the "mental" habits may be decreased and then I can work on the "physical" addiction.
My theroy/excuse for not making this attempt before is that I would gain 10 pounds (that is the rumor/fact)...then the surgeon/PA told me to substitute another action...that her "friend" I am guessing may be a "life partner", (go ahead and imagine that,) just took a walk when she wanted a smoke...well since I have to practically drag my leg behind me when I walk this is not a good suggestion...my Mom wants to buy me hard candy or lollipops (I guess I will try this but here begins the 10 pounds...) Really though anyone who knows me knows that I have gained ten pounds and lost ten pounds about 100 times...so I am just going to embrace it and move forward into the fat clothes closet...
Well now I will keep you all (my four followers) informed about my progress...Already today I am considering looking in Rick's "man room" and see if there are butts long enough to straighten out and light...SERIOUSLY..but just typing that and reading it back in my brain has grossed me out enough to stop myself...BTW Rick is doing very well trying to "keep me clean"..so to speak. He told me he would join me in my journey but I have gotten a whiff of smoke a couple of times..looking forward to the day when it smells BAD....and when I become one of "those people" who makes faces and act disgusted when in the company of smokers....